That Was Bad

(It's Joever)

Well, at least we proved that he's not on drugs, right?

In all seriousness, last night's debate was a travesty. It was not an all-out harbinger of apocalypse like the first one from 2020 was (at least we had muted mics this time) but let's none of us fool ourselves, alright? What happened last night was objectively bad for our country and everyone in it. It shows that we deserve the candidates that we have. We deserve a convicted felon and a babbling old fart. I have seen no proof in the last eight years that we have earned any better than this.

Who won the debate last night? Well, there are many options to choose from. The alcohol and teletherapy industries, perhaps. Or maybe whoever made the music that played during the commercial breaks on the YouTube livestream. In my opinion, the winners were Tina Fey and Matt Groening, because I needed an episode each of 30 Rock and Futurama to soothe my soul after that.

Both candidates were disasters in different ways. We're lucky enough that they were disasters in the ways that their already-decided voters don't care about. Trump spouted lies about post-birth abortions, said "I didn't sleep with a porn star" (a sentence that should never unironically be uttered by a presidential candidate), and, surprise surprise, refused to commit to accepting the results of the 2024 election (methinks he's excited for another January 6th). Meanwhile, Biden wandered all over the place, made the baffling decision to steer away from talking about the issues voters favor him on, and continued his unfortunate strategy of telling people that their economic troubles aren't real. He lost his train of thought multiple times and spoke in a raspy, sometimes difficult-to-understand voice.

On the other side of the coin, each candidate won in the ways their voters care about. Biden was largely sensible in terms of policy and was willing to act like the adult in the room, and Trump was willing to spout off the most insane nonsense you will ever hear while still being as dynamic and sleazy as his cult voter base loves. Of course, nobody is voting Trump for policy. They're voting for him because they like that he signifies chaos, and that he's willing to say the unspeakable things they want to say but can't because of the "woke PC leftists." Trump was a big and insane talker, and so he won his voters over. Biden was a halfway sensible human being, so he won his voters over.

Well, I shouldn't say Biden won his voters over. The tide of thinkpieces encouraging him to drop out has already begun. Is it a bad idea for him to drop out? On the one hand, absolutely it is, are you out of your mind? On the other hand, no it's not, what are we gonna do, elect him?

I know I've spent a lot of this blog post dumping on Biden. My vote still hasn't changed. There is nothing in the world that could get me to vote for Trump. Everything I saw from Trump during this debate has further convinced me that he is a danger to our country. He denied saying there were "fine people on both sides" during Chartlottesville when the evidence was right there. And for anyone who wants to tell me he condemned the Neo-Nazis and white supremacists, I would say that means very little when you consider the people he said were "very fine" were carrying Confederate flags. Plus, let us not forget his meeting with actual white supremacist Nick Fuentes, who he was reportedly very impressed with. 

 I've said it before and I'll say it again: we cannot allow Donald Trump to win the White House. If that means electing the slightly older of two farts, then so be it.

Gettin' Ready for the Debate

(Credit: Variety)

I'll never forget the night of the first 2020 presidential debate. That was the night that I first realized just how thoroughly our country is screwed over. Here we have two old men yelling at each other, nobody in the audience able to make out a single word. I despise helium-voiced Dunning-Kruger Effect mascot Ben Shapiro as much as the next guy, but he best articulated the national emotion after that experience: "All I know is that we all lost."

Well, today we get to see Biden and Trump take the stage together again for the first time in all these years. I'm going to bet it won't be a happy reuinion. Trump has taken every opportunity to call Joe Biden a string of vile insults reminiscent of a certain legendary line from Community S3E17. Meanwhile, President Biden, though more civil and reasonable in this matter than Trump, has made it very clear how much he views the former President as a danger to this country. These are two men who have been trading insults from afar for four years. Now we ring the bell and tell them to fight.

I have made no bones about my political leanings on this blog before, but I'm going to spell out my opinion right here and now: conservative, liberal, centrist, what have you--these labels don't matter. All that matters is making sure Donald Trump does not so much as touch the White House again. It is hard to conceive of the nightmare that will begin should he win. He'll abuse his powers to wreak vengeance upon those he feels have wronged him, he'll let Russia have its way with Ukraine, and he'll free each and every person who tried to overthrow democracy in his name on January 6th. We cannot comprehend how nightmarish this reality will be for everyone, Trump voters included. Let us not forget his candid admission at a rally that he doesn't care about his voters. I'm no big fan of Biden. But against an anti-democracy ra(c/p)ist like Trump, there's only one option. Well, only one option if you want to win.

I'm just trying to get all my stuff done right now so that I can watch the debate live. It's gonna be wild, and I'll probably make a post about my impressions from the debate tomorrow. All I can say is, thank Heavens they'll be muting the mics. Now let the games begin!

The Legend Returns (And Helps Me During a Tough Time)

It's been a rough day today, for personal reasons that are somehow even too personal for a personal blog. So I won't tell you about them. Instead, I'll tell you about what made my day better after going through these aforementioned "personal reasons": ASDFMOVIE 15!

As a longtime enjoyer (and semi-scholar) of classic Internet animation, I hold the asdfmovie series, created by former Eddsworld writer/showrunner/actor Thomas Ridgewell, in very high regard. It's been going since 2008 and usually gets a new installment every couple of years, though this one's taken a bit longer than most. The series has a simple premise: it's a series of short, darkly comedic sketches animated in a minimalist style stitched together. The sketches are surreal and hinge on a vaguely Pythonesque appreciation of unexpected and nonsensical outcomes. Expect explosive turtles and lots of cartoonish gunshot wounds.

The new one is a formidable addition to the franchise, even better, I may say, than the last couple of entries. So many great gags are packed into three minutes, from a sentient truck that nobody can escape from to a rainbow with a knife. It's classic asdf through and through.

I turned it on right after a very emotionally difficult experience, and it lifted my spirits almost immediately. Do I still feel pretty crappy? Absolutely. But thanks to TomSka and his utterly twisted sense of humor, I feel like things are gonna be okay.

Bandit Heeler

• Strong, masculine man.
• Attentive father.
• In touch with his emotions, none of this “men don’t cry” nonsense.
• Loves and is always loyal to his family.
• A fun and goofy guy.
• Always does his best, messes up sometimes, always makes things right.
• Works hard to give his wife and kids a good life.
• An all-around great dad.

On Father’s Day, not only do we honor the fathers and other men in our lives (thanks Dad!), we look to the future of masculinity. I want the outdated ideals of the endlessly stoic, bottled-up father to end, because this will only hurt men and their families. I propose that we end that nonsense and replace it with whatever Bandit Heeler has going on. Clearly, he has it figured out.

We’re So Back (Maybe)

It seems every time I finally make peace with the fact that Tally Hall (one of my very favorite bands, on hiatus since 2011 for very legitimate reasons) will never return, something happens that raises my hopes again. Last November, it was Zubin Sedghi’s Spotify Wrapped message claiming they will return once they achieve a totally unrealistic number of monthly listeners. And now it’s this.

Tallyball (the foremost commentator in the Tally Hall community) has made a video that relays information stated by Matthew Altruda (radio personality and close friend of the band) claiming that all five members have met up and had discussions about…something. We’re not really sure. Some people theorize that they discussed plans for a reunion or third album of some sort. Some theorize that it was simply a meeting between friends. Details are still unclear. Either way, it’s nice that they met up.

My two cents: I think it’s unlikely that they would all get together and not talk about the future of the band. It’s a favorite topic in interviews, and a topic that’s been on everyone’s mind since the Wrapped video and the Joe Hawley situation (once again, not explaining it, just Google it). Of course, we haven’t had any updates on the situation since Joe left Twitter and the doc got taken down. It’s entirely possible the situation got better, and it’s entirely possible things are still choppy. I don’t want to speculate on that too much, because these are real people, and I don’t want to even hypothetically pry into their mental health and interpersonal relationships and whatnot. All I will say is that I think it’s likely the band’s future was discussed. What that entails, I don’t know.

All I know is that I’m glad they got together. Things have not been easy lately, and it’s nice they were able to meet up and chat. Even if there’s no third album or reunion concert, good on them.

That being said, hot dang do I want a third album.

Adobe’s Update Changes Nothing

Adobe issued a blog post “clarifying” their horrendous new terms of service that allows them to access the work you created in their software at any time. More specifically, they refute the claim that Adobe will train AI on art created by its customers, stating that it would never do such a thing and all that jazz.

The first problem is that I don’t really believe them. Big Tech has already proven that they love nothing more than stealing artists’ work without their consent for use in a technology designed to replace them. They have demonstrated this time and time again. And they all deny that they do, but they do.

The second problem is this: it doesn’t matter what they’re accessing it for, the fact that they can access it is a problem. If they can access it for thumbnails and exports, they can access it to train AI, and there is no law saying they have to tell you. Big Tech has not given us any reasons to trust them.

I’m still very interested in open source alternatives, and I’m still angry with Adobe about this. In my opinion, no tech company should be allowed to do anything that affects its users without running it by Cory Doctorow.

Adobe

Just saw the news about Adobe’s new terms of service allowing them to access any of your work for any purpose they desire, including to train AI.

The first thing to note is that, as usual, tech companies do not have your best interests in mind, and they do not value art in the slightest. The second is that every Adobe Creative Cloud application has an open-source alternative. I will not be touching a single Adobe app unless this is changed. Krita and Audacity, here I come.

Alex Jones

Boo hoo.

I believe that you should love thy neighbor. That being said, some people make that very, very, exceptionally difficult. Alex Jones is one of them.

Well, today the far-right’s favorite child death-exploiter finally agreed to liquidate his sorry excuse for a media company to pay off his debt to the families he has hurt in untold ways, the suffering parents and siblings he sent his rabid army of conspiracy theorists after. His so-called “empire” is based not just on lies, but dangerous propaganda has resulted in enormous financial and emotional damage to grieving families.

Well, his company will soon be gone. Already he is shedding crocodile tears on his show and promising to return in some form so he can hurt more families and incur more legal consequences. I personally think he should be condemned to a lifetime of using only the undoubtedly dangerous products he hawks on his show. But that’s not for me to decide.

I know and love many people with political views opposite to mine. We are all brothers and sisters, and we should treat each other as such. That being said, I will not equivocate when I say that Jones’ views are repulsive, his actions are despicable, and he deserves as much punishment as the law will allow him to receive.

Remember kids: lying is bad, lying about horrific death is worse, and weaponizing lies in order to hurt grieving families of victims is one of the worst things you can do.

Finally Some Good News

Most news these days is all doom and gloom. “End of democracy” this and “horrific tragedy” that. Not that we shouldn’t be paying attention and responding to these matters, but it’s difficult to open your phone every day and see the worst of human suffering delivered right to your inbox.

No sir, it’s not every day we get news of a new Wallace and Gromit film. This is a day to be cherished.

It’s called Vengeance Most Fowl (fantastic title), it features the return of Feathers McGraw (all-time great villain) and it’s being directed by Nick Park (visionary animator, living legend, and the man whose absence was a part of what made the new Chicken Run movie so mediocre). It’s also got a screenplay by Mark Burton, one of the writers behind the titular duo’s superb debut feature Curse of the Were-Rabbit. They’re saying it’ll come this Christmas. That would be the best present of all.

Well, things certainly are looking up for the future. As for me, I’m gonna go treat myself to my complete Wallace and Gromit DVD set in preparation.

Song of the Summer

It’s about time that we, as a society, had an actually good song of the summer. May I formally nominate this absolute jam?