While We're on the Topic...

Common Sense Media's Andrea Graham wrote more negatively of Invader Zim, praising the show's "laugh-out-loud" humor, but criticizing the way that Zim has a complete lack of concern for all life, how humans are depicted as less-than-intelligent life forms, how human society is depicted as a terrible disgusting place, the very frequent use of verbal insults, and that there is no good messages or good role models in the show. Some parents have criticized Invader Zim for its pessimistic portrayal of humanity, the near constant-level of screaming among the characters, as well as the large amounts of verbal insults and threats, and the disturbing and disgusting content, calling it "unnecessary", "misanthropic", "too scary for children" and "inappropriate for children." According to director Steve Ressel, Nickelodeon held a test screening for the episode "Dark Harvest" during which one kid ran out of the room crying before the episode was over and others were visibly shaken and clearly terrified at what they saw.

All of this is just a list of reasons why Invader Zim is a legitimate contender for the most gloriously insane kids' series to ever air. We need more shows for young ones that are openly grim and unsettling and revolve around characters with no morals whatsoever. I guarantee that in the age of YouTube Kids overstimulation, parents would welcome their kids watching something as uniquely grimy as Invader Zim.

The "Invader Zim" Pitch Bible

(A drawing from the pitch bible. Credit: Jhonen Vasquez or Nickelodeon probably, I don't know)

As someone who's been rolling some ideas for an 11-minute animated series around for a bit, I love looking at the inside elements of the pitching process, especially pitch bibles. I love seeing show creators describe their characters, something I feel provides a lot of insight into them we might not get upon viewing the series. I love seeing early art, I love seeing unmade sample episodes, I love learning about characters we never see in the final show. It remains an utter mystery to me why most of these are locked away from the public. (On a related note, can we please get the Smiling Friends pitch bible, Adult Swim? Pretty please with a cherry on top?)

But, thankfully, this is not always the situation. Case in point, the pitch bible for Jhonen Vasquez's deliciously bleak, ostensibly kid-friendly series Invader Zim found its way onto the Internet Archive a few years back, and it is quite the read. The Irken are called the Noying. Gaz serves more as something of a test subject for Dib than anything else. And, apparently, the original concept was for the series to have an Animaniacs-style structure, focusing more on short vignettes than the coherent 11-minute storylines typical of animated television (and that were later used for the series). It's an interesting look at how the series might have turned out in an alternate universe.

The Invader Zim pitch bible demonstrates the kind of unbridled creativity that makes you wonder why it had to be cancelled (outside of being wildly unsuitable for the average Rugrats-inclined Nickelodeon viewer). Seems like the kind of decision a barely sentient bag of meat and juice would make. At least we got Enter the Florpus.

Gulf

Read my lips: GULF OF MEXICO.

4K77

For legal reasons, I have not watched the fanmade 4K77 restoration of Star Wars. For legal reasons, I do not believe it is the best version of the film and I am not massively impressed at the work done by the team. I do not commend them for doing with limited resources what major corporations have been unable to do for decades with billions of dollars. I absolutely do not think this project is a fantastic step forward for film preservation and I most certainly do not think it is the new gold standard for Star Wars fan labor. I do not encourage those who wish to enjoy the untouched 1977 theatrical version of the film to seek it out.

For legal reasons, I do not say all of that.

Just in case, though, I'm gonna make a quick backup of this blog.

I Have Discovered an Enormous (Not Really) Conspiracy

The above strip is from the comic strip Big Nate by Lincoln Peirce. Specifically, it's the January 16, 1992 strip, the beginning of an arc in which Nate and Francis take the aforementioned "Cosmo Sex Quiz." I stumbled upon this and was shocked. Even though I have read the Complete Big Nate series many times, I have not once seen this strip or the storyline it spawned (which ends with Nate discovering that his sister Ellen, according to the quiz results, is "pure as the driven snow").

So I opened Hoopla and borrowed The Complete Big Nate 2 to see if I was maybe just memory-holing this. I wasn't. This, and to my knowledge many other "edgy" strips from earlier in the comic's run, have been completely removed from the book, and are now only available on GoComics. Presumably, this is a result of Peirce retooling the strip and surrounding franchise towards youngsters (a move I still feel was a step in the wrong direction for one of the best comic strips of the 90s).

Oddly, there are still some edgy strips present in the collections. There are still references to Nate's art teacher Mr. Rosa being targeted by a prostitute in New York ("Totally out of the blue, this woman came up to Mr. Rosa and offered to show him a good time!") among other things. I suppose there is an argument to be made that the removed strips are somewhat more inappropriate than the included ones, but nonetheless, if you're going to make some confused seven year-old ask his parents what that word means, you may as well go all the way.

So anyway, yes. Andrews McMeel has been erasing the existence of Big Nate's edgier past for years, and as a result, I have spent most of my life reading an expurgated version of one of my favorite comics. Guess the only thing to do now is start at the beginning on GoComics and move forward to see what I missed.

RedNote

 The children yearn for data theft.

Four Years

(Shoveling snow at the site of the riot. Credit: USA Today)

In yet another devastating blow to the MAGA movement that continually seeks to paint itself as the party of law and order and the "woke lib'rals" as a violent force, Donald Trump's win in the 2024 election has been certified without a hitch. Turns out it's surprisingly easy to not storm the Capitol, not assault officers, and not threaten to hang the Vice President. Perhaps if it was that easy, the fault lies with the movement that considers anything opposed to it a conspiracy. Just a suggestion.

If it sounds to you like I have little respect for the modern right, it's because I do. I believe in respect until disrespect is earned, and the events of January 6, 2021 are one of a long line of things that discourage me from speaking kindly of the most dangerous modern cult. Donald Trump has repeatedly stated that it was a "day of love" and things of this nature. I can think of very few "days of love" that caused such trauma that four Capitol officers killed themselves in the following days (four people that the conservative media doesn't want you to know about, because their deaths are inconvenient to their narrative). The right has spent the last four years pretending this violence doesn't exist, and somehow they managed to sucker a majority of the American people into forgetting about it. If America was still a country deserving of good leaders, Donald Trump would have been run out of the country on a rail. Instead, he'll pardon himself and all of the January 6 prisoners, while using the justice system against all of those he feels have wronged him. Add Lady Justice to the long list of women that Donald Trump has violated.

I don't respect the modern left very much (I believe wokeness is as much of a joke as anti-wokeness is a grift). But, looking at the events of four years ago versus the events of today, there is little doubt at all as to which side is the more civil of the two. The modern right is deeply and inherently corrupt, violent, and blind to the many sins of their golden calf. There is no viable path forward until Donald Trump is out of the picture, either hiding from the police in another country or six feet under (which I can only pray will not be a result of him reaping the political violence he has sown). Until then, the Republican party has not an ounce of my respect or consideration on the ballot.

Here's to four more years, everyone. Heaven help us all.

Never Mind Then

Apparently the version of Barry Lyndon uploaded on YouTube omits much of the score, making it nothing short of a crime against a masterpiece. Don’t watch it. Either get the Criterion Blu-Ray or (for legal reasons this is a joke) pirate it.

Ringing in 2025 with Barry Lyndon on YouTube

Now here's something you don't see every day. Warner Bros. has apparently made the decision to upload the entirety of Stanley Kubrick's 1975 every-frame-a-painting epic Barry Lyndon to YouTube, in full HD to boot. I guess it's some sort of New Year's present from one of our worst entertainment behemoths, an odd but undeniably welcome one. I'm a big believer that everyone should seek to better their cinematic knowledge, and Warner is out here giving people reasons to add that to their resolutions. I have a burning hatred of most of Warner's business decisions as it relates to their handling of their catalog, but I can't be angry at them for bringing this masterpiece to more people. This is the right thing to do.

Making older movies such as this more widely available for free is something I'm a big proponent of. I feel that there is a point at which studios have little incentive to lock such films behind streaming fees, and I feel this point often comes well before the film has hit public-domain status. At some point, making the film available for free is going to lead more people to pay for it than would normally. I feel this way about most films that are old enough for their directors and stars to have passed away, but haven't yet gone into the public domain.

Anyway, I'd highly recommend that you check out the movie. It's easily one of the most visually stunning movies ever made, as well as a wonderful piece of eerily distant drama. Get it as long as the getting's good! You never know when those normal WB business instincts might kick in.

Also, happy 2025 to all of my readers! I hope you have a wonderful year!