In today's "corporate technological hellscape" news, Roku has been toying with the idea of cramming even more ads down your throat.
The greatest shock of this news is the fact that it's even possible for Roku to cram more ads down your throat. The second greatest shock is the terrible way that they're planning on doing so. We're just learning that Roku has filed a patent for a system that would detect when you have paused HDMI content (DVDs, video games, etc.) and display ads on the screen accordingly. You know, that's a thing well-adjusted entertainment companies do.
One of the approximately three thousand things that sucks about this news is that to me, DVDs and Blu-Rays are a form of rebellion against the growing content empire, the entertainment companies that don't want you doing anything if it doesn't make them money. When I watch my DVD of A Charlie Brown Christmas, that is thirty minutes I am not spending giving Apple the idea that doing away with a beloved tradition for money isn't alright. DVDs require no Internet, no subscriptions, nothing but a disc and a player. And now here we are, facing the very real possibility that Roku will opt to bludgeon us over the head with their ads when we aren't even using their hardware. Hooray.
If this makes you think of the Futurama scene where Fry discovers that ads are placed in peoples' dreams in the future, you're not alone. This is a terrible future we've been slowly and obliviously marching towards for a long time. When people with the Musk-Neuralink-whatever chip start having dreams where Jake from State Farm offers them a Pepsi, I won't say "I told you so."
It's worth noting that this is just a patent, and there is no guarantee that Roku has any plans to integrate this. Nonetheless, this sets a dangerous, dangerous precedent. If Roku can show us ads when we pause our DVDs or games, what's to stop them from deciding to overlay the ads on our media? What's to stop them from interrupting your media for ten minutes of unskippable ads? Roku and other companies are constantly trying to move the goalposts, pushing and pushing what we consider "okay." And they assume that they have such a death grip on the American consumer that people will shrug their shoulders and accept it. That is, unfortunately, a correct assumption.
Which is why I offer Roku this ultimatum: the very day that I see an ad overlaid on my HDMI feed, I am going to swear that you will never get another cent of my money, and buy a CRT monitor and VCR/DVD player. This is not okay. I know that you large companies aren't in the habit of listening to customers' opinions, but read my lips: the day my Blu-Rays have ads is the last day I am using a smart TV, Roku or otherwise.
Anyway, how about that weather, huh?
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