1:33 AM

(Credit: Forbes)

DISCLAIMER: The following post was written in a late-night haze in the hour or so after Donald Trump won Pennsylvania, and only lightly edited for clarity today. It is pure, raw, unfiltered catharsis, clearing everything that was on my mind at the time. It is entirely possible that, in the near or distant future, I may regret some of the wording or statements made in this post. At the moment, deep in the throes of emotion, I stand by every word of this post and make no apologies.

If you are seeing this post on my website, then Donald Trump has won the 2024 Presidential Election in America. There is no going back. The states have been called, and no amount of "red mirage" optimism or prayers for a sudden influx of absentee votes can can distract from the truth. Donald James Trump, the convicted felon who has been found liable for sexual assault and welcomed a mob into the United States Capitol, will soon be the leader of the free world. I'm a big enough man to admit that it was a fair fight. That already makes me bigger than most of the other side.

In situations such as this, many have said that they no longer recognize the country that they live in. I am compelled to make such a statement myself, though for the life of me I am unable to make it. Though I can truthfully say that I do not recognize America as it stands, it is not a surprise to me. I was never given an opportunity to recognize America. This country has been a perpetual stranger to me since I was a child, and once again, on what I thought to be the eve of me finally beginning to understand it, it changes once again. America, the endlessly unrecognizable.

I was born in perhaps the last generation where the greatness of America was openly and explicitly taught in schools. I was born in the last era that sang songs about freedom set to cheesy instrumentals burned onto CDs in a first-grade classroom. I was part of the last generation to look at America, and even at its worse, see something truly exceptional, a country that sets the standard for the other countries of the Earth. This is an illusion that is inevitably shattered in all when they reach the age during which they lose their political innocence. But my loss of political innocence felt strangely world-shaking, largely because it came when we saw the rise of a candidate unlike any other major candidate before him.

I caught snippets of the political conversation of the time, often left unfinished in my presence or tucked into pages of the newspaper my parents wouldn't let me see. "Grab 'em by the--"...by the what? What was he saying? The day I learned, I was mortified. By then, it was already too late, and he was in office. I knew he was not a man to be admired, much less a man to be voted into the most important position in our country, and one of the highest positions in the world. For perhaps the first time, the country that I thought was the greatest on the planet had let me down.

This was the same pattern that would repeat itself continually over the course of the next eight years. Just as Joe Biden wins and I begin to see that spark in my country again, people break into the Capitol, chanting their support for hanging the Vice President. Just as a horrible day of political violence in the country offers brief hope for greater unity, a meme is posted by the target of the violence, exploiting his near-death to call his other opponent weak. All talk of "lowering the temperature" ended after that. At that point, temperatures were to run hot, and the Big Man and all of his cronies were gonna like it.

As I write this, I feel a lot of things, all sort of settled at the bottom of my stomach. Disillusionment is one. As is anger. As is fear. Emotions that I, as a person with a comfortable day-to-day life, am not used to feeling with this intensity. And yet, somehow, they all feel so familiar. I know why. It is because this is the same feeling that comes up every time I realize how little I understand the nation that I live in. I say that I have never been given the opportunity to recognize America, but in the end, haven't I already? I am familiar with one America and one America only: one that has continually displayed its disregard for our morals and foundations, and reflects that in its choice of candidate. The America that I remember most has always been Donald Trump.

Many would argue that to remember America that way is a good thing. I have many family members who would argue that. I love all of the members of my family, regardless of their vote, but I wish to make one thing abundantly clear: I will never understand how they could square a vote for Donald Trump with their morals. We were all raised with a very similar set of general moral convictions, and to me, it is the greatest betrayal of those convictions to vote for a man who betrays them. A man who mimes performing oral sex on a microphone in public cannot be against sexual perversion. A man who cheats on his wife multiple times can't be a paragon of family values. A man who threatens to deport pro-Palestinian protestors can't be a protector of the First Amendment. Every part of me with any firm moral standing utterly recoils at the sight of the man. It's not that I think Trump voters lack a moral center. I think they learn to either bypass it, or reprogram it to tell them that everything they're seeing represents good old-fashioned conservative values, gosh-damn it. A lack of morality may not be a prerequisite to vote for Trump, but at least a healthy dose of self-delusion is.

This self-delusion is thanks, in no small part, to the media. Those who support Trump aren't even given the chance to be fair-weather fans. They all go to a Trump Record Store, and all that is there is Trump's Greatest Hits. Fox News and Newsmax don't tell them that Trump said that immigrants are subhuman and are "poisoning the blood of our country." They don't tell them about the obvious signs of Trump's mental instability, instead, they play clips of Kamala's "weird laugh" over and over, desperately trying to convince them that it is a dealbreaker.

Certainly the playing field was not level. Part of the twisted genius of Donald Trump is the way that, from the day we saw him as a politician, he has continually assaulted us with a barrage of behaviors that would have been utterly unacceptable two decades ago. He may have been kidding when he made the infamous "Fifth Avenue" comment, but it sure as hell wouldn't be a joke now. Harris is a regular politician who would have fit right in two decades ago, and was judged as such. Trump is judged by the standards of Trump, essentially meaning that as long as he's not molesting a child onstage, he's in the clear. Meanwhile, Harris is judged by the standard of Howard Dean. Harris being a woman of color cannot be a coincidence in this scenario.

I do not wish to imply that all Donald Trump voters are racist and sexist. However, it is undeniably true that racism and sexism got Donald Trump elected, and a vote for him was indisputably a vote for racism and sexism. It was true in 2016, and it was true the moment the last polls closed today.

Donald Trump supporters, of course, bear most of the blame for the results of today's election. I would, however, be remiss to not mention the other Group of Dishonor, protest voters. Here's the deal, the way I see it: by voting Jill Stein, or "uncommitted," or skipping voting altogether, you have forfeited the right to complain about the results of the election. You sowed hard and you're gonna reap hard. Those of us who cast actual votes for democracy get endless "told ya so" rights. You should never be allowed to live down the great disservice you have done to our country. This should, and will, be a cross you will bear until a mythical day when Donald Trump and his influence is a painful but distant memory. My sympathy for those disappointed with the outcome of the election extends only to those of us who made an honest attempt to change it.

I deeply worry that that's the country I live in. A country of people who vote for rapists, of people who get rapists elected, and of reasonable yet silent voices. Is that America? Certainly not all of it, but certainly enough of it to get us into this situation. To all who contributed to where we are today, shame on you. Shame on you all.

I don't know where we, as a country, go after this. What Donald Trump has proved, if anything, is that when his dementia-addled mind tells him he wants something, he will eliminate all obstacles in the way of getting it. This time, he is doing what he can to facilitate the removal of as many obstacles as possible, by surrounding himself with cultish yes-men, people who have made Donald Trump into a sort of god, a secular god who they would nonetheless sacrifice their firstborn to. His will is their command, and all we can do is pray that they wise up like many members of Trump's previous cabinet did. Given the aforementioned "Fifth Avenue" effect, the chances may well be slim. Anyone who could stand with him after January 6th, 2021 is someone who has deep-seated issues.

I'm trying to look on the bright side here. Now that Donald Trump has won, there will be no attempts by him and his lawyers to disenfranchise me and millions of other swing-state voters. He promised that there would be widespread voter fraud, but now that he's won, it's all fair. If he wins, it was a transparent and honest election. Never mind Elon's open bribery of Pennsylvania voters, or the blatant acts of voter intimidation committed by Trump supporters at polling stations, or the numerous flaming ballot boxes of the past few weeks. I maintain that this was a fair election. That does not mean that every single person played fair.

I fear we have unleashed an era of our country that not a single one of us wants to live in. I fear we have opened the door to an eternity of the last eight years. I fear we have created an America that I, nor the others of my generation, will ever be able to recognize. I can only hope that, somehow, I am proven wrong. I can only hope the next four years will be boring, and that my brothers and sisters of every race, color, religious belief, gender, political viewpoint, sexual orientation, or whatever have you, will all be safe and respected. Do I have confidence this is what will happen? I don't know. But I can hope. At 1:33 in the morning after Election Day, hope is all I have.

Congratulations, President-Elect Trump. May it be a short four years.